In line with the very surreal nature of the upcoming presidential election, Republican candidate/village idiot Ted Cruz told voters in South Carolina on Tuesday that he wouldn’t provide gluten-free ready-to-eat meals to the military:
“The last thing any commander should need to worry about is the grades he is getting from some plush-bottomed Pentagon bureaucrat—or providing gluten-free MREs,” Cruz said.
“It is time for America to once again prioritize a strong, advanced and robust military,” he added, clearly not understanding that a military with the debilitating squirts is incapable of being any of those things.
For more info on how the gluten-free diet IS NOT left-wing sedition or a mere food fad, check out our article in this week's issue.